


Date Me

by planetundersiege



Series: Dirkjake Week 2018 [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Because it’s an AU, Dirkjakeweek2018, Douchestuck, Flirting, Fuckboy reputation, Gay, Homestuck - Freeform, Inspired by edgycaliforniaroll’s comic, Jake is rich, Jock Jake, M/M, Nerd Dirk, OOC, Oneshot, Over confidence, Sarcasm, Studying, Swearing, asking someone out, dirkjake - Freeform, highschool, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-26 03:53:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13849518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/planetundersiege/pseuds/planetundersiege
Summary: Dirkjake week day 6: Favorite AU.Jake English, the most popular dude, known fuckboy and douche, just asked out your average nerd Dirk Strider.





	Date Me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I like a lot of AUs but I absolutely LOVE douchestuck when it comes to Dirkjake. This is inspired by edgycalifornaroll’s Instagram comic.

“Hey Dirky”, Jake said as he confidently walked up to the blond boy in the library who were studying, nose in the book. As he heard the jock approach, he looked up and used one hand to fix his orange glasses. Orange glasses that matched his sweater vest. “What’re you doing?”.

Dirk let out a sigh as he saw the overly confident teen wearing a dark green sweater and some khakis, the latest fashion with known brands.

“Studying obviously. You should try it, he said as he dropped the pen he had been holding. “Well atleast if you wanna graduate and not end up as a pizza delivery guy who lives with his mom in the forties while spending all her money on funko pops”.

Jake snorted at the comment.

“Like I’d ever end up like that”.

“Yeah, you’d probably collect mlp figurines made of gold”.

“Fuck off, douche”.

“Why would I? I was here first, and it was you who began talking to me in the first class. And you call me a douche? Look who is speaking, the school’s total fuckboy calls me a douche for telling him the truth about what will happen if you drop out of school”, Dirk said. “What do you want anyway?”.

Jake still had that smug look on his face, looking overly confident. He put one hand on the table, leaning on it, putting all his weight, making sure he looked as cool as possible. When he smiled his teeth were white like freshly fallen snow, there’s no way those were natural, and with Jake, it wouldn’t surprise him if he bleached them every other day.

“I, Jake English am asking you, Dirk Strider on a date”, he said, leaning even closer. “I know it’s hard to think, you getting the privilege of going out with me, but you’re hot. So what do you say? The club on Saturday?”.

“No thanks”.

“Okay I’ll pick you up in my Mercedes at… Wait what do you mean with no?”, the jock said, taking a step back, clearly confused, smug grin erased from his face, looking a lot less calm now.

“It means I don’t wanna go on a date with you asshole, it’s that simple”.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Why would you not wanna go out with me?”.

Dirk took up one of his hands, moved his fingers as he told him the reasons.

“Number one, you’re a total douche. Number two, you’re a fuckboy, I know your type. I would just be your little boytoy until you get bored and move on to the next. Number three, we’re juniors, underage and not allowed to drink, yet along into a club, and don’t even tell me about fake IDs. I don’t do booze. And number four, you’re a douche”.

“You already said that”.

“I know, so you can quit the flirting”.

“But babe”.

“I’m not your babe”.

“Yet”.

Jesus Christ.

“Do you ever stop?”, he asked, trying to go back to his work.

“Well, you’ll just have to find out handsome, on a date with me”.

“Okay I’ll go on ONE date with you, just so you stop annoying me, I’ve got a deadline on this thing, I need to study”.

Jake nodded.

“Got it babe. So Saturday?”.

Groan.

“Fine, but no bar or club”.

“So… milkshakes?”, Jake asked, dropping his overly “cool” and “chill” voice for one that sounded excited. It was barely there, but noticeable like a voice crack. That actually made Dirk smile a little, for a second the fuckboy sounded like a nervous guy asking someone out for the first time.

“That actually… sounds pretty sweet. Okay, Saturday at 3 pm. Can you leave me alone now?”.

Jake nodded, placed a kiss on his lip as the smug grin returned.

“Sure babe. See you”.

Jake turned around and then left, becoming a green silhouette in the distance before completely disappearing.

Dirk had no idea what just happened. He was going on a date with Jake this weekend, he had kissed him, and he felt excited for some reason, like he wanted it to be Saturday already.

Jake better not be a total douche or fuckboy, because then he would be in deep shit with Dirk, but at the moment he just smiled.

Maybe Jake wasn’t such a total douche if you got to know him?

He hoped atleast.


End file.
